grow, please?

And you are just going to leave them like this. Heavily compacted, badly weathered and disturbed. They can't grow and I don't think they will be growing any time soon. The rain is just going to continue washing away the soil and people are just going to continue walking on it. How many even cast a glance?

It's like hoping things will turn out well and sort themselves out with time. But you know they don't and they won't. It will just get worse. And it's worse when the soil is wet. You can't just plant in false hope because it will all just be a facade. They won't be thriving anytime soon. These hopes are dying. Or they can grow, but they won't be deeply rooted. Just too disturbed.

Those words. You knew that was it. Too different. Those plants cannot grow in that kind of environment. It takes two hands to clap. That will be the last glimpse.

And them, they do not need your sympathy. When you have never gotten something before, you will not be burdened by it or yearned for it. Because you have never have it. You won't know how it feels like. When you don't have something, you can't lose it.


I wish you well. Take care, please.

hunter and prey.

Thank you for being there today again. It seems that I will only get to see you when my mood is down. You never appear when I'm looking for you. But you are always there at the end of a bad long day. I guess only you decide when to turn up. And you always know when to show up. Thank you chicken wings (:

coffee in a beaker.

Really. No one appears and disappears like that. No one.

stop guessing.

Because she knows it will never be the same. Every wound is going to leave a scar. Like the torns from the rose. Like the marks on her neck. She's being strangled and suffocated alive. The wounds, seemingly harmless, cause the greatest hurt. Blue and green. Breathless and envious. She will never be tall, she will never be complete, she will never live.

9 chapters to go.

You knew it would not last. You knew there was nothing concrete to begin with. You knew it was all so superficial. No matter how much you have cared before, you knew it would end someday. Nothing lasts forever, not even in this age. Especially not with these days. Men could not keep it to themselves, women could not be left alone, friends could not be out of contact, families could not be without communication.

If you knew it was going to end someday, would you still have tried?
I would, and I did.
But now that it seemed to be ending, I'm not regretting.
Because I know that I'm not the one who ended the ties. I'm not the one who made that decision. You did. They did. He did.
It's okay with me. Bring me back to those days and I would still have done the same thing. I'm not going to change myself or the way I am just because of something that's inevitable in the future. Yes, it's really tiring and I did give up, a lot of times. But when I look back, there's still those times. No matter how short or superficial, at least I was once there. I believe that they were genuine, at least on my part. At least I tried.

Or maybe I have not tried hard enough.

It might not mean anything. To you, to them, to him. But it mattered to me. It did not have to make a difference to you. I made a difference for myself.

And no, I really do not think that there's any superior religion. Everybody's faith is worth respecting.

and you chased the roach across.

Walking home alone.



Thank you for being there, for waiting at the lift lobby. Maybe you knew I needed company. I have no idea if you really do know, but your appearance was a pleasant surprise I should have embraced more. You put a smile on my face. Sorry for not being able to spend more time with you though, it was getting late.



I'll promise to tickle your chin and rub your ears the next time I see you alright? You're really sweet. Thank you.

Why did you do that? Really, why?

I started it.

You said move on, where do I go?





Quite small and insignificant, but such a drastic change.
So tall and almighty, but they all fall and just crumple.
Things admirable and eventful, however rather dreadful to others.
So concrete and clear, capsized and befogged in an instant.

Yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
An impending train.


Maybe that's just the way you are. I have to accept it and care less. One phone call out of concern. And I realised I'm still pretty much under your control. Really, why do I allow you to speak to me the same way you always do?

are we too blind to see.

cravings.

Prata.
Curry.

A warm bowl of thick clam chowder.

Buffet.

Sushi.
Tom Yam Soup.

Medium rare steak.
Mashed potatos.

Popeye chicken.

Kong Ba Bao.
Blueberry Cheese Cake.

Chicken Nuggets.
Muffins.
Post Cereals.

kitty cat.

http://blogs.catster.com/the-cats-meow-a-cat-and-kitten-blog/the-telltale-tail/2009/08/29/

less than 9 months on my passport.

至少我们中还有人能快乐
这样就已足够了


(:

1804h.

because it's not letting her go.

fire.

fear.

there will never be a complete portrait.

because it will never let her go.

can you see the struggles within the strokes?

#433

#433

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percy the pencil.

Franklin D. Roosevelt:
When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.






How ironic. Now I'm needing this for myself.

?

dilemma.

what happened?

girl.

oh..who's the lucky one?

haha.

come on, tell me. why not i call you?



haha so who is it?
come on, don't be shy with me!
make a guess? hmm..
w?
oh. it's her!
since when did it start?
i see, do you think you're ready?
since it has only been barely 3 months..
oh, you have always been ready?
i see, so it's only me..
you asked me last time,
i haven't given you an answer..
but i kinda knew,
that your heart's no longer here.
but, enough of us.
how is she like?
haha looking at her photos now.
not bad!
good figure and looks kinda cute (:
go for it if you really like her!
if you're not sure what to do, you can ask me!
be nice to her okay?
make sure that you're really really ready,
be sure she's the last one.
don't be so lazy, treat her well!
remind her to send the cards to ur sister,
i guess i won't be doing it anymore...
hmm..
i see..
maybe she's busy so she didn't really reply?
check and see if there's any chemistry!
go for it k!
if you're really sure..
tell me the good news next time alright?
will you promise,
to let me be the first one to know?
don't let me find out for myself..
esp not on fb..
alright, it's getting late
sleep early k!
btw how's ah bui and milk?
i see.., maybe they won't live past this year..
play with them more!
yup, alright.
you have a long day tmr..
gd night!


and this is how i let you go.
can you see how i don't bother with my capital I anymore.
something that i make it a point to do since the start.
now it's just all i.
I.
i.


and can u guess at which line did i finally break down?
but all the while, you don't know a thing.
it was a happy, cheerful conversation.
i was urging you on.
encouraging you to go for it.
move along, go find ur new happiness.
im alright.
im okay.

but no im not.
do you know how many times i have to bite my index finger.
to stop myself from letting myself away.

no, im not going to let you know how this is affecting me.
im already alright.
i am.

this is how i let you go.
and this is why i love phone calls.

if someday a friend calls you.
how will you know if this will be the last phone call?
he might be standing at the edge.
ready for the jump.
and just one last phone call.
would you have noticed?

smile, smile a little smile.

the small things in life that we forget.

pink floyd.

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
Come on, Come on, Come on, now,
I hear you're feeling down.
Well, I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I'll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a FEVER
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

I have become comfortably numb.

i've done my job.

Hold on
Hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell

Bus ride.
So close, so intimate.
Goodbye.
Man leaves.
Woman follows.
Strangers.
The other her.
The other him.
Why so.
Right from the start.
Why so.


I'm glad.

and they will attack if you use the wrong weapons.

So it goes.

Haven't felt like this in a long while. The last time was when I met K. This time, it struck me while I was looking at the photos. Made me realised all over again that, there will always be a part of you I will never know. Made me realised how I will never be part of what you were. Made me realised how different we are from one another. Opposites do not attract. Or does it even matter. I realised, there's really so, so much that I do not know about you. And perhaps I never will. It didn't start out on a strong footing. Just an impulse. And impulses fade.

And so it goes.

What you said last night, or what I found out. Why didn't I feel stronger about it. Is this an indicator, that I'm getting better? But what am I getting better at. Am I really moving on, or am I just getting better at hiding them. Would love to stop this nonsense. It isn't fair, especially to you. What you have heard and learnt from me, it's just my story. You have your own to write, it's in your hands. Not every tale ends like ours. I would still pray for you, to have the courage. We will never know what the future holds, but I believe that we do have some control. They ain't gonna lead our lives, we will.

Painting and drawing on Friday. (: